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‘Usher and the first time’ (21)

My first time going home in the dark. After I had just moved to Purmerend, I could not find my way home. My mother told me that I totally panicked for I cannot remember myself ….. then the ‘Usher ball’ got rolling. Not much later, I went to Amsterdam for a night out. Dark pubs with stairs which I fell off. People thought I was drunk and stoned, because my pupils were big. I made jokes about everything, but I often felt embarrassed and ashamed. With ‘my first time’ I also think about the first day I brought my eldest son to school. So many children, so much concentration and energy needed to pick up everything and not to mess things up. The first time I did not say hallo to a mother and, consequently, she totally ignored me. The first time in the swimming pool where there was no …

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